By Tim Huff
President & CEO, TLG
No one warned you that leadership would feel this heavy.
Not the workload, the endless meetings, or even the decisions stacked back-to-back on your calendar. What caught you off guard was the weight; the quiet, accumulating burden that comes from carrying responsibility for people, outcomes, and uncertainty all at once.
Leadership didn’t get harder because you got worse at it; it got harder because it got heavier.
You’re leading in a world of even greater constant change, tighter margins, and relentless expectations. You’re expected to be confident and empathetic. Decisive and inclusive. Authentic and polished. Steady when others are anxious. Optimistic when the path forward isn’t clear.
And while there’s no shortage of advice about leadership skills, frameworks, and best practices, there’s less conversation about this invisible part of the job; the part that lives beneath the title and beyond the org chart.
The part no one put in the job description.
The Invisible Load Leaders Carry
Much of what makes leadership difficult today isn’t visible on an org chart or job description. It shows up in moments between meetings, in decisions made with incomplete information, and in the emotional space leaders hold for others. That invisible load tends to show up in three ways: decisions, emotions, and role tension.
Decision saturation. Leaders these days are making more decisions, more frequently, with fewer clear answers. Change initiatives overlap, priorities shift, and tradeoffs become constant. And even when a leader makes the “best” decision available, there’s often a quiet awareness that it may still disappoint someone or need to be revisited soon. Over time, that mental load adds up.
Emotional absorption. Leaders often act as emotional shock absorbers for their teams. They listen to concerns, frustrations, fears, and fatigue, and then walk into the next meeting expected to be steady and composed. This is especially true when teams are burned out. Leaders are expected to project calm, even when they’re carrying their own doubts or exhaustion beneath the surface.
Role tension. Leadership today lives in a series of constant tensions:
- Being close enough to support the team without micromanaging
- Being authentic without losing executive presence
- Being confident without tipping into arrogance
- Being available without becoming depleted
Rarely is the challenge choosing one side. The challenge is continually recalibrating, often without clear feedback if you’re getting it right.
Why This Weight Goes Unspoken
What makes this part of leadership particularly difficult is that many leaders don’t feel they have permission to talk about it.
There’s an unspoken belief that struggling means you’re not cut out for the role. The thinking is that if you’ve been promoted, recognized, or entrusted with leadership, you should be able to “handle it.” This is where imposter syndrome often creeps in. Not because leaders lack competence, but because the reality of leadership doesn’t match the expectation they had going in.
Leaders are often told vulnerability matters, but only in the right way and at the right time. It’s acceptable to talk about struggle after you’ve worked through it, uncertainty after clarity has returned. In the moment, you’re expected to project steadiness. Over time, that expectation teaches leaders to carry the weight alone.
The Risk of Carrying it Alone
When this invisible load goes unacknowledged, it doesn’t disappear, it shows up sideways.
Leaders may become more controlling, mistaking certainty for safety. Others may disengage, creating distance to protect their own energy. Some operate on autopilot, confusing endurance with effectiveness. Burnout doesn’t always look like collapse, it sometimes looks like efficiency without joy, decisiveness without curiosity, or leadership without presence.
What Exceptional Leaders Do Differently
From my observation, exceptional leaders don’t avoid the weight of leadership, but they relate to it differently.
First, they normalize it. They stop interpreting difficulty as a personal deficiency. Leadership is complex because the world is complex. Feeling the weight doesn’t mean something is wrong with you; it often means you care deeply about doing it well.
Second, they re-anchor to what matters most. When everything feels urgent, exceptional leaders return to their core. At Turknett Leadership Group, we talk often about leadership character… the foundation of Integrity with a balance of Respect and Responsibility. These aren’t abstract ideals; they’re stabilizers. When leaders lead from character, they’re less likely to overcorrect, overcontrol, or disappear. Character creates consistency when circumstances are anything but.
Third, exceptional leaders build intentional places to set the weight down. One of the best ways to do this is through executive coaching. Coaching creates rare space for leaders to think out loud without performing, posturing, or protecting an image. It’s where uncertainty can be explored before it leaks into decision-making, where patterns can be named, and where the invisible load of leadership becomes visible and manageable. Rather than carrying everything alone, coached leaders learn to discern what truly requires their attention and what does not; recognizing that leadership isn’t about absorbing every burden, but about stewarding energy, judgment, and character toward what matters most.
If leadership feels heavier right now, it’s probably not a sign that you’re failing.
It may be a sign that you’re leading in a time of real complexity. That you’re navigating change, caring about people, and taking responsibility seriously. The weight you feel isn’t a flaw in your leadership. In many cases, it’s evidence of it.
The question isn’t whether leadership will feel heavy at times. It’s whether you’ll try to carry it alone, or lead in a way that’s strong enough, grounded enough, and human enough to last.
Thanks,
