How do you help leaders distinguish between useful information and distracting noise?
So when you’re thinking about useful information, I like to call that the signal—and everything else is the noise. And when you start to think about the signal, I see it like a dial. Like, way back when, you used to tune your radio to find the right station. So I really partner with leaders to help them think about what their station is—and to understand that they can have multiple stations. You can listen to country, rock, rap, spa music—whatever it is—but the key is that you’re tuned in to something. Because if you’re not, that’s when all the other sounds start coming in, and that becomes the noise.
So part of it is really helping leaders understand: What are you working on? What are you interested in at that moment, in that season? That’s how they can find the right station.
And like I said, all the stations are useful—there’s a time and place for each. Sometimes you need to tune in to the spa station for some mental relaxation. But you have to be clear about the task at hand, and what it’s going to take to be successful in that moment.
And as I think about this, I want to go down another road. When you’re neurodivergent, it can be harder to figure out what’s the noise and what’s the signal. Because for a lot of neurodivergent folks, the day starts full of noise—and it’s through activity that they begin to clear that noise. It’s almost the opposite of how non-neurodivergent folks experience it. As the day goes on, they’re better able to focus in on what’s useful.
So people who naturally filter out the noise without effort sometimes don’t realize others are waking up already overwhelmed by it—and they have to figure out ways to manage that throughout the day.
Now here’s the third part of my answer—because I’m always a critical thinker. Today, there’s a lot of fake news, a lot of distractions, and people creating things that look real. And it’s hard to tell what’s actually useful, what’s true. So what I help people understand is: you’ve got to become a scientist. You can’t believe everything you hear or see on Facebook. You can’t even always believe yourself. So it’s about taking in information and asking—maybe 10% of this is true. Then find sources that help you get to the truth.
Back when I started my PhD program, I had to walk to a library to get data. I’d pay real money to copy a scientific journal article. But now, people get information from so many sources—and they don’t know how to tell what’s what. So I teach them to use tools like Snopes or other fact-checking sites. And I teach what Adam Grant talks about—rethinking. Using your rigor of thinking. Because that rigor is powerful.
And I’ll end with this: when you think someone else is wrong, it helps to suspend judgment and ask, How might they be right? Because as a leader, when you really don’t like something, it’s easy to write everything off. But you could be seeing a six, and someone else is seeing a nine—and neither one of you may be wrong.
So when it comes to filtering the noise, it really comes back to the rigor of thinking. Critical thinking. And helping leaders lean into that, every day.
What strategies do you recommend for maintaining an internal locus of control?
Oh, well, I think the first thing, when I’m thinking about a strategy for maintaining a locus of control, is helping people understand what it even is. So self-awareness is the first piece.
Most of us learn through experience and exposure. So when you’re talking about an internal locus of control, it’s tough to just meet a leader and say, Hey, you need to have one—especially if their whole life has been shaped by things like a helicopter mom, or always having someone step in and do things for them. I don’t think there’s some magical switch you can flip and suddenly say, You should take full ownership now.
But once you help someone develop the self-awareness to understand, Here’s what locus of control is. Here’s the spectrum. Here’s why it matters, then you can start to show them examples. I’ll point to leaders who are doing what they want to do—successfully—and ask, What behaviors do you notice? How does that show up in the way they lead?
It becomes about modeling. Looking around and saying, Okay, what are they doing? And how can I try some of that on?
And honestly, I usually bring this up when I see someone spiraling—when they’re spending a lot of energy on things they don’t actually control. And they might not even realize it. So part of my strategy is helping them separate the person from the behavior. You’ve got a beautiful person, often just doing what they’ve learned to do.
So it’s really about education. And with adult learners, the best way to educate isn’t by telling—it’s by helping them see and experience it for themselves. Because telling doesn’t teach. People learn by doing.
Can you share an example of a leader who stayed focused despite external pressures?
Oh yes. I have a current leader who is the definition of resilience. Honestly, she invented the word in my mind. If you open the dictionary and look up “resilience,” I swear her face should be right there.
She’s gone through so much. I mean—she lost her mom, who was incredibly important to her. She lost her senior manager. She was moved laterally. Everything that could possibly happen to a person—professionally and personally—has happened to her. And yet, she stays focused.
Now, what helps her is that she has a very strong internal locus of control. She’s always thinking, What part of this do I control? That’s where she puts her energy. Not in what happened to her—but in how she responds to it.
And I’m a metaphor person, right? So here’s one that’s stuck with me since I was a little girl. My parents used to take me to the dog races. They were wonderful—definitely not helicopter parents. They believed in letting me think, and I loved being with them.
So I remember being at the races with my little binoculars, just fascinated. I kept wondering—why are these dogs running so fast around this track? What are they chasing? And then I realized—they’re chasing this mechanical bunny. A fake rabbit. And they’re never going to catch it.
And to me, that’s the perfect metaphor for what a lot of leaders do. They end up chasing mechanical bunnies—things they’re never going to catch. External validation, perfection, other people’s approval, things out of their control.
But not this leader. She doesn’t chase the bunny. She knows her priorities. She knows her value. She focuses on what matters and blocks out the noise. And trust me, there’s been sabotage, there’ve been people trying to derail her—but she does not falter.
She stays grounded by constantly asking, What is the most important thing for me to do today? That’s her focus. And she balances it—like Blake and Mouton talked about—between task and relationship. You need both.
And let me tell you, that’s where a coach really adds value. When you start chasing the bunny or getting lost in the noise, a coach can help bring you back to center. Back to what really matters. That’s the power of staying focused—and that’s exactly what this leader does, every single day.
How does a clear vision for the future impact a leader’s ability to navigate uncertainty?
So my thinking—and I know I’m a bit of a contrarian—I don’t actually think it helps. I don’t think a clear vision for the future helps when you’re dealing with uncertainty. I think those two things kind of stand in opposition to each other. I mean, how can you have a clear vision for a future that is, by definition, uncertain?
When you think about VUCA—the volatility, the uncertainty, all the chaos in the world—I just don’t think clarity about the future is the answer. What is helpful is agility. What’s helpful is flexibility. What’s helpful is resilience. Those are the skills and behaviors that let you say, No matter what happens, I’ll be able to navigate it.
That’s where I think the power lies. When people can lead from that place—when they lead from something strong and grounded inside of them—that’s what helps. Because the truth is, we can’t predict the future. We’re not psychics.
(And side note—this always cracks me up—whenever I tell someone I’m a psychologist, they go, “Oh, what am I thinking right now?” I’m like, that’s Madame Cleo, not me!)
So no, we can’t see the future. But we can help leaders connect to their core. We can help them think about character—like in the TLG Leadership Character Model—Who do you want to be, no matter what the times look like?
That’s the foundation. In uncertain times, that core becomes your compass. Because let’s be honest—if you look at where we are right now in 2025, I don’t think anyone could’ve predicted this. People say they saw it coming—I don’t buy it.
So for me, a clear vision isn’t the thing. What matters are the characteristics, the knowledge, the skills, and the confidence to say, Whatever happens, I can figure it out.
And that—knowing you can figure it out—that’s so much more powerful than having some perfect, polished vision. Because I’ve had a clear vision before. I had a vision and a whole plan when my biggest client was the CDC—and then they were gutted. Vision or not, that went out the window. And that’s what uncertainty looks like.
So I believe in building the leader’s ability. Because if you’ve developed that, then no matter what comes your way, you can handle it. That’s what really helps you navigate uncertainty.
What daily habits or routines help leaders build focus and resilience?
So—one daily habit I love is what I call “opposite-think.” Not groupthink. Opposite-think. Because when everyone’s saying, “Yes, this is great,” I believe leaders need to be the one who says, “But what if it isn’t?” That opens up space for others to stop just going along to get along.
Because we know from social psychology—people are cognitive misers. We are cognitively lazy. Most folks make decisions based on what the leader thinks or feels. But imagine if, as a daily habit, leaders modeled the skill of thinking differently. Every day. That alone could change everything. Groupthink is a huge problem, and we need to push against it constantly.
Now, in terms of building resilience, I think leaders have to tap into their self-efficacy. And that goes all the way back to toddlerhood. Remember your first step? You didn’t walk—you fell! But everyone clapped like you’d won the Olympics. That right there is a reminder: resilience lives inside of us. It’s built-in. We just need to remember it.
I also think leaders need to challenge the status quo—not just think outside the box, but flip the box over, shake it, maybe even get rid of it entirely. Because resilience isn’t always about staying inside the lines. It’s about breaking the lines when needed.
Now let’s talk focus. I’ll be honest—focus is one of those weird concepts. People talk about “finding your why” and “getting to the root cause,” but in today’s world? Plans change so fast. Strategic plans used to be 10 years out. Now you blink and the plan’s outdated by the afternoon.
So what leaders really need is mental agility. Mindset. The ability to pivot. To stay grounded even when the goalposts move. That builds resilience—and yes, it helps with focus too.
And here’s a habit we don’t talk about enough: laughing. Yes, leaders need to laugh. Like in Who Moved My Cheese, the character who made it through? He laughed at himself. We take ourselves so seriously sometimes. But if we laughed more, tapped into our right brains, moved our bodies, let go a little—I really think we’d all be more resilient.
How do you see the role of emotional intelligence in managing distractions?
First off, emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness—you’ve got to recognize when something is distracting you. But it doesn’t stop there. There’s also social awareness—just because something is a distraction for you doesn’t mean it’s a distraction for someone else.
I work with a lot of neurodivergent individuals, and I am neurodivergent myself. And what I’ve come to know is that words like “focus” and the very linear way we define it? That’s often based on how neurotypical people experience the world. But for those of us who are neurodivergent—dyslexic, ADHD—I proudly claim both—we don’t just see one path. We see many. And that’s a strength.
I manage my distractions by realizing that sometimes, they’re actually useful. Take procrastination, for example. People say, “Oh, I’m procrastinating.” But are you? Or is your brain just tired of thinking and trying to find a new way to solve the problem?
Like, when you start tidying up instead of sitting at your desk? Your brain is still solving the problem—it’s just doing it differently. You’re engaging your whole body. You’re integrating your left and right brain. You’re letting movement fuel your thinking. That’s not a flaw. That’s brilliance in action.
And look, we are human beings, not human doings. This idea that we’re supposed to sit in one spot for eight hours and “focus” like robots? That’s absurd to me. I genuinely don’t understand why anyone would want to do that. I move around throughout my day—different rooms, different spaces. I give myself permission to work in the way that works for me.
So yes, emotional intelligence is about self-awareness and social awareness. But it’s also about empathy—realizing that how you manage your focus may not be how someone else manages theirs. And that’s okay.
If someone gets through their to-do list in a perfect 1-2-3 order, great. But if someone else goes from task 1 to task A-Q to 5-6, loops back to 2, and eventually lands on 3? That doesn’t mean they’re failing. That’s their path—and it’s valid.
The mistake we make is trying to force ourselves into someone else’s version of what leadership or productivity “should” look like. That, to me, is the biggest trap. Emotional intelligence means honoring your own rhythm, and making space for others to do the same.
Any final words for our readers?
The biggest thing I want to leave with you is this: grace and patience with yourself. There’s so much talk out there about imposter syndrome, burnout, and stress—and honestly, I think a lot of it comes from not staying true to our own strengths. We get caught up trying to be in someone else’s lane. It’s like saying, “I want to be in that person’s lane, doing what they’re doing,” instead of embracing our own lane and figuring out how we can help others in theirs.
We need to give ourselves grace and compassion. We often set these incredibly high standards for ourselves, and while I love reaching for mine, I recognize that everyone’s standards are different. If your standards are lower and that works for you, then embrace that. Especially in a company setting, figure out what your own lane looks like and find ways to contribute from there.
Self-awareness is key. As you grow in your understanding of who you are, it’s important to be able to express that to others. I don’t wake up in the morning wondering how everyone else is tackling the day or what answers they’ve given. I wake up with the goal of being my best self, knowing that whatever I face, I’ll handle it with the strengths I bring. And those strengths may be different from someone else’s.
My new mantra that I’ve been writing about is Pause, Play, and Prosper. Take time to pause—it’s not all that serious. If it is, go play for a moment, and then come back refreshed and ready to tackle it. Be gentle with yourself.